Stepmom refuses to claim stepdaughter's kid as her grandchild, is confronted by stepdaughter when she complains about never becoming a grandmother: ‘They could always have been yours too, but you didn't want to be their grandma’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jan 9, 2025 10:00 AM EST

Many families don't care if they're a mix of step-relatives, half-relatives, and full-bio relatives. At the end of the day, family is what you make of it, not the DNA that you share with them. Sometimes, the best family anyone has is their chosen family, who might not even be tethered to them by a marriage certificate. The gist is: If you love the people you call family, you shouldn't be afraid to be referred to as their family either.

The woman who posted this story is not in emotional turmoil, no no—but her stepmother sure is. The woman explains that her father married her stepmother, and because of this marriage, she inherited two stepsiblings. The woman never considered her stepsiblings as anything less than family, but it's clear that her stepmother does not share the same sentiment when the woman has children and her stepmom refuses to let them call her "grandma".

So, when the woman overhears her stepmom complaining about never becoming a grandmother because her biological kids don't want children, she gives her stepmom a much-needed awakening.

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • Cheezburger Image 10451200000
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITA for reminding my Step-mother that she chose to not be a grandmother?
    via Capital_Ad_7369
  • My father married my Step- mother when I was 20. She had two young teenagers at the time who I have always referred to as my step-siblings, but because of our ages and never living with them, we were never particularly
    via Capital_Ad_7369
  • close, although we get along just fine. When I was 30, I had my first child and I asked her what she wanted to be called by my son and she did not want to be any form of "grandmother", just wanted to be called by her first name (let's call her Nancy).
    via Capital_Ad_7369
  • My three children are now young adults and have never really had much of a relationship with Nancy aside from as Gramps's wife. Everyone gets along fine, she has just never treated them as grandkids. Her choice. Over
    via Capital_Ad_7369
  • the years, she has said how she can't wait to be a grandmother, it's her dream. My step-siblings (Nancy's children) are both in committed, long term relationships and have both chosen to not have children.
    via Capital_Ad_7369
  • I am now 53, re-married to a great guy with two children of his own (young adults). The oldest is getting married soon and can't wait to have kids. We were all chatting about this at Christmas and I mentioned that I couldn't
    via Capital_Ad_7369
  • wait to be a grandma, talking with my step-daughter about what her mom wants to be called, what I'll be called, etc. My kids consider their step-sibs family, and vice
    via Capital_ad_7369
  • versa. We rarely even use the "step" part. I will treat all my grandkids the same, whether they are technically my step- grands or not.
    via Capital_Ad_7369
  • Cheezburger Image 10451202304
    via Unsplash (Priscilla Du Preez)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Anyway, later in the day I walked into the room where Nancy and my step-daughter were chatting and overheard Nancy say how devastated she is that she never had any grandchildren and how it was the thing she had always dreamed of. My step-daughter
    via Capital_Ad_7369
  • said "I'm confused, don't you have 3?" Nancy responded and said "no, they're not mine, they're my husband's". At that point, I spoke up and said "they could always have been yours
    via Capital_Ad_7369
  • too, but you didn't want to be their grandma". Nancy didn't say much, just "I know, but it's not the same." I then just told my step-daughter that it was all the same to me and she hugged me.
    via Capital_Ad_7369

  • Not only did this user's stepmom have the audacity to suggest she'll never be a grandmother, but she confided in the user's stepdaughter. That's a double whammy of entitlement and ignorance.

    The grandmother throws herself a pity party, but that can only do so much when she had decided to become the first-name grandmother (or simply, a woman that dates beloved Gramps). It might be easy to empathize with the user's stepmom because many women hope to be a grandma someday. But, beggars can't be choosers, and the stepmom had no real reason to take out her personal feelings on the user's children. If being a grandmother was that important to her, she wouldn't ostracize the kids who were giving her the only chance she had at becoming a grandma.

    I guess grandma to her is restricted to bio-kids only.

     

  • The next day, my dad called and said that I hurt Nancy's feelings and that I should have said something way sooner if I wanted the kids to call her a form of grandma. I responded that it wasn't an issue for me, it was her
    via Capital_Ad_7369
  • choice. I was just pointing out that she could have had the role and she chose not to, but that it hurt me that she now complains that she never had any grandchildren. Just a difference of opinion, I guess? AITA here?
    via Capital_Ad_7369
  • Should I have just kept my mouth shut? I hate that I hurt her feelings, but I wanted to be clear to my (step) daughter that I didn't share the same feelings. My dad says that Nancy felt I was r de for "calling her out" but I think I was just defending how it played out and how I hope it plays out differently with my family. AITA?
    via Capital_Ad_7369
  • Turmeric_Ping NTA. Nancy made her choices and now she regrets them. If it's uncomfortable for her to be reminded of that, it's on her to deal with it.
    via Turmeric_Ping
  • BerryMonstah NTA. Nancy made her bed when she chose to be "First Name Only" instead of Grandma. It's not r de to remind her of that choice when she's rewriting history for sympathy points. If Nancy's feelings are hurt, that's between her and the mirror, not you.
    via BerryMonstah
  • Baby_Doll_Small NTA. You were just being real. Nancy made her choice years ago not to be called grandma, so it's hard to hear her regret something she had control over. You weren't ride, just pointing out the truth, especially in front of your step-daughter.
    via Baby_Doll_Small
  • It's not wrong to feel hurt when she talks about not having grandkids, knowing she chose that path. Hopefully, this opens up a better conversation with her and your dad. Don't stress over this sweetie
    via Baby_Doll_Small

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

family drama drama kids stepmom grandma reddit story family feud grandchildren stepdaughter entitled people karma divorce entitled Grandpa family grandparents reddit thread Reddit entitled people
Scroll Down For The Next Article